asapplepie | APRIL FOOLS!!!!!

[which MYSTERIOUS and CHARMING prankster could have put that bucket of glitter balanced carefully over the door there. Not this INNOCENT CHILD sitting and waiting eagerly for your dumb ass to walk into it.]

[Slams the door all the way open, knocking the bucket off so quickly it falls onto his head with a loud CLANG]

[having a hysterical giggle snort fit don't mind me]

[The bucket hits the floor and dumps glitter everywhere.

...It seems to have a giant dent in it.]

...Hehe. Nice, dude.

I know, you don't have to tell me when a prank has been masterfully executed, dude!!

[HOLDING OUT A HAND FOR a post pranked shake]

Hi!

[Shaking it!! What a firm handshake, wow.]

Hi!

That was okay. I could've done a better prank if I wanted to.

[john wouldn't know, because OH GOD HIS ARM IS FALLING OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Ahhh!

Not again!

[OH MY GOD BLOOD THAT LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE KETCHUP IS SQUIRTING VIOLENTLY OUT OF THE WRIST STUMP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH]

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asapplepie - 2013-04-02 02:41 (UTC) - Expand

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zuulsmellpooplord - 2013-04-02 02:44 (UTC) - Expand

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asapplepie - 2013-04-02 02:53 (UTC) - Expand

[Bucket full of glitter on his head.

He seems to be in shock.]

I know that it is pretty culturally insensitive to be laughing at this, but it is pretty insensitive to my culture to not laugh at things that are definitely hilarious.

[Doesn't have good enough icons to properly respond but.

He's starting to yell from inside the bucket but then it just sort of turns into the sound of someone choking on glitter.]

[helpfully removing the bucket out of the deepest, darkest, kindest parts of his heart.]

I don't really know if that's non-toxic or not, so you probably shouldn't eat it? Unless that's something that trolls eat, like some sort of weird, sparkly alien delicacy?

[Nope.

Collapsing. Coughing out occasional handfuls of glitter.]

Gross.

[reaching down to thump him on the back??]

[He's dead.

Sadstuck?????????????]

[No, okay, sitting up and hacking back to life. Spitting out mouthfuls of glitter.]

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zuulsmellpooplord - 2013-04-02 02:33 (UTC) - Expand

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crusthatecean - 2013-04-02 02:36 (UTC) - Expand

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zuulsmellpooplord - 2013-04-02 02:38 (UTC) - Expand

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crusthatecean - 2013-04-02 02:43 (UTC) - Expand

[is today supposed to be some kind of holiday is it national tea-drinking day]

[Suddenly, you seem to be receiving some sort of message on your computer.]

[oh how exciting! maybe it's a new friend]

[It seems to be...a message from your military?

Informing you Russia has launched a nuclear strike at the UK.]

[THAT IS NOT A NEW FRIEND

frantically slams random keys on his keyboard before giving into the inevitable and reluctantly calling up America]

Listen, don't panic or anything, but which button do I have to press on my computer to send my nuclear missiles in Russia's direction?

The number you have dialed has been disconnected. Please hang up and try again.

[Meanwhile, your computer shows 10 minutes to nuclear annihilation]

Edited 2013-04-03 00:17 (UTC)

GODDAMMIT AMERICA, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO USELESS.

[welp only one option left

puts on his cloak and starts performing a deadly ritual that will curse off Russia's balls!!]