asapplepie | day five, america and england

[He takes the note and reads it.]

Whoa!

Do you think she told Ema this stuff, too?

I don't know. It's possible she's not willing to trust Ema until she follows her and confirms that she is what she claims to be. In a game like this, that'd be a smart move, actually - she doesn't have any useful information to share at the moment anyway, so why not know for sure before putting your life in someone's hands?

I just...I mean, they went after Kanaya because she said too much. Ukyo was quiet, so she's probably gonna be okay.

I think I should probably protect Ema still, since she knows everybody's roles. The hunters might think she's too dangerous.

I think Ema's actually the safest out of everyone here, to be honest. She's the only person clear that we can trust so far - the hunters know there's at least one protective role out there and maybe even more, and that those protective roles will almost certainly be on her. They won't risk trying to kill her and having their attempt fall through. It's likely why they aimed at people like Sam Winchester and James Sunderland and even Kanaya in the first place - people they knew hadn't been close to anyone before coming here and therefore had the least chance of being under protection.

Besides, it's obvious that aside from roles, Ema hasn't actually gotten any useful information yet, otherwise we wouldn't have had that whole debacle over who to execute in the first place. They're probably more desperate to find the scavenger and the bloodhound.

Yeah, that's probably true. Except I thought you thought they'd think that you're protecting yourself or me, not Ema...

It's just sort of weird.

I don't think they'll go after anyone who has a large enough chance of being under protection. They've already lost what, five members? If they want any sort of hope at winning, they can't afford a night where none of the prey die.

It's just that...every night, no matter what, you've said for me to protect myself. And that we should just look out for the countries, but mainly to only protect myself.

I thought you were going to be mad I wanted to protect Ema. But like, you don't even know this girl. There's a way bigger chance they'd go after me or you than some random girl.

I never said you shouldn't protect yourself. Actually, I'd be quite happier if you did. I just know that you're never going to listen to me on that since you haven't at all yet, and it's something I'm just going to have to slowly die from stress from in my own time rather than risk an aneurysm arguing about it with you, you ginormous selfish sod.

But you should protect yourself because Ema is almost definitely not getting killed tonight.

Haha, fuck you, I'm not gonna do that.

Okay, so if you think Ema is super safe, I guess this girl or Kirigiri or Ciel. They might wanna get revenge on Kirigiri and Ciel...

Do you think we can trust Ukyo, though? I guess she did know what I was, but why would she ask you instead of me?

We've been talking about what the hunters will do, but you do realize that you're at risk from the scavenger as well now that Bruce Wayne's been revealed as a hunter? Do us all a favor and save yourself.

I don't know, that's my issue as well. She knew I was a regular prey and that you tried to protect me, but she may have also just guessed that from our behavior - it isn't like we were that subtle about it. On the other hand, if she is a hunter, why draw attention to herself now? She's been fairly quiet in all the trials and has abstained from every vote, it's not as if she'll be at risk from the scavenger. And she did say she wasn't sure if she could trust you just because you visited me.

[His eyes widen; he hadn't even considered that.]

I...I can't protect myself. I just can't.

I want to be somebody who is brave and fights back, like Kanaya. Yesterday, she said you weren't doing a good job, and I said she didn't know, because she didn't know who was going to die, either.

But the truth is, I knew the person who was going to die was gonna be her or Kirigiri because of how much work they'd done to try to find the hunters. And I didn't protect her anyway just for selfish reasons so it's like...it's like I as good as killed her.

I really don't want to be killed by the scavenger, but I just...

[He wipes at his eyes again, starting to tear up, although it's been enough time that he at least looks ashamed.]

And Bruce, even though he was a hunter, he voted for himself. I said he could vote for me if he didn't want to kill anyone, but he...and he said I was a good person, but he doesn't know that I was just selfish and protected us instead of anybody else. And I don't want to be like that, I want to be somebody brave.

But I...I don't know if...

[He swears softly under his breath.] Blimey, this is exactly why I didn't want to get into this argument with you.

[Despite the harshness of his words, the hands he puts on America's shoulders are gentle as he looks directly into his eyes.]

Listen to me. None of this is your fault. I can't even say it's the hunters, not after Poland and Wayne. It's that fucking Critter's, all of it. You're not a coward for wanting to save your 300 million people. Kanaya is dead because she got dragged into this awful game. It had nothing to do with you. I'm sorry she's gone, but I'll be even sorrier if that's what convinces you to risk your life.

You alone have the power to come out of this alive, America. Use it. Bravery has nothing to do with it. Anyone else would do the same in your shoes.

[He nods and swallows, looking away from England's eyes and trying to collect himself before speaking again. Once he has, he furiously wipes his eyes off on his sleeve.]

The scavenger...I mean, they've been really good about finding hunters. They probably know I didn't mean anything by it, right?

If I say no, will you protect yourself?

I don't know.

[He looks up again; his face is still red and tear-streaked, but he's a little calmer.]

Please, just tell me the truth. I can make my own decisions, England. I just want to know what I'm really risking, whatever I decide.

Goddammit!

[It comes out as a muffled scream as England buries his own face into his hands. He's regrets the outburst the second it comes out - for all his bouts of shallow rage, he's rarely ever genuinely emotional, not to the point of breaking down. And lucky him, America gets to see it twice.

But he can't do this anymore. He hadn't been as upset as the others when he found out his role; he's more than used to manipulating people in the shadows and being hated for it, and this was for a better cause than most of what he's done over the centuries. But lying to America, taking advantage of his absolute faith when he's already been betrayed by someone he idolized, risking his life just to win this stupid fucking game (to bring everyone back) - even though he knows the chances of the scavengers killing America are slim, he'd been so intent on a way for the hunters to win that he hadn't even thought of it until he said it. What the hell is he turning into? He's always been upfront about his lack of moral integrity, but this...he doesn't even know if he's doing this to save everyone or just for the sake of victory anymore.

He can't keep lying to America. He has to. Part of him just wants his role to be revealed already so he doesn't have to keep playing.

When he looks up again, his eyes are dry but completely drained.]

I don't know either. You seem to think I have all the answers - I don't. Maybe if it were anyone else, I'd tell them that the scavenger will likely go after someone else, but I can't tell you that. I am actually the last person you should be asking, because I honestly don't care about winning or losing anymore. I just want you to be safe.

England...

[He's genuinely shocked by the response. He hadn't thought about how much he was asking England to do and figure out, and how much he's worrying him.

He wants to be brave, and maybe even more, he wants people to think he's brave. But England almost never gets like this. He's sort of touched that even after all these years, England still cares so much, but he's even more guilty.]

It's...it's okay. Thanks for being honest with me.

Look...Ema and Ukyo will both probably be fine, right? So I'll protect myself tonight and then the scavenger will leave me alone and I can protect them a different night.

[He laughs hoarsely, but there's no humor in the sound.]

Even I don't believe you on that. Forget it. I should have never shown you that bloody note in the first place. Ukyo was probably lying to me anyway.

Don't...don't be like that.

I shouldn't of lied before, okay? You and me gotta trust each other, so it won't happen again.

You shouldn't trust me. I'm the least trustworthy person in this entire town - I'll sell you out the second I get.

[He's calmer now, though in a flat way, the calm that comes after simply no longer having any energy to care anymore.]

Be honest. Do you want to win this game? Or do you want to get out of it with all of us countries alive?

[He makes an exaggerated eyerolling movement; even if England doesn't sound right, he at least has to be a little back to normal if he's pretending he would again.]

I want both. We're going to all get out of here, and stick it to Critter, too.

[We're going to all get out of here. Including Poland, and even Bruce Wayne. He closes his eyes.]

Then pick Ukyo Kunoji tonight. Don't listen to my selfishness. We need to protect all the useful roles we can, even if we're not sure of them yet. The scavenger will most likely be going after Holden Caulfeld, Beat or Togami tonight. That's who I'd be aiming for if I were trying to kill a hunter, not someone who was obviously just trying to protect someone he admired. They didn't try to kill Joshua after all, even though he lead the vote away from a hunter.

[He doesn't even care how suspicious he sounds - he's not breaking any rules, and it might be a relief to have America figure it out.]

[He nods and smiles genuinely. England telling him this feels like he's being trusted; he's not being told to protect himself like some helpless kid, but to actually contribute, and it feels pretty good.]

...Okay! Will do!

[He gives America a small smile in return, even though he feels sick inside. It's just one more sin on his already blackened soul; if it's to bring everyone back, to give America that happy ending he so desperately wants, he'll do whatever it takes. He's already far too deep into this to hold back now anyway.]

I'm going to do whatever I can to get us all out of here safely, okay? You shouldn't trust me on anything else, but trust me on that.

Haha...

[England's being a little weird, with all this focus on not trusting him, but it's hard to tell what England thinks and he doesn't really want to dwell on it.]

Well, I don't trust you not to be a douchebag! But I guess I trust you on important stuff.

[Once again, England finds him in the familiar position of despairing over what an idiot America is, which is at least better than the more unfamiliar but getting depressingly far less rare despairing over what a terrible person he is.]

And I don't trust you not to be an idiot, but I'll trust that you'll be on my side every step of the way. We're going to win this game, we're going to rescue Poland's people, and then I'm going to rip that mask off Critter's face, rip all its stinking teeth out one by one, then set every single stupid fucking trophy head on fire, shove them down its throat, and make it swallow. And after that, I'll start getting creative.

[He whistles.]

Jesus. But you're right, Critter pissed off the wrong people.

By the way...no matter what happens...I promised Bruce Wayne I'd protect his kid. And I'm not gonna break that promise, okay?

I haven't even started. Everyone else will have to get in line.

That's fine. I'm not going to let Luke Triton, Clara Oswald, or Peggy Carter die either. We all have promises we can't break here. [The promise for everyone to live, the promise to get everyone out safely...that's the one he needs to keep.]

[He nods.]

Well...don't worry, because I'm going to get us out of here for sure.

day five, america and england

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